Eagle eyes and lunch

Nature will have her balance.

Eagle eyes and lunch

Football has a certain sound during impacts as unstoppable forces meet immoveable objects. Thwump would be a good word to describe human bodies colliding at speed. Add an UMPH in there as one body receives the brunt of the energy. Not quite E=MC squared but it's close enough for the guy at the bottom of the dogpile. THWUMPH!

It's how you know professional wrestling is choreographed. Those athletes practice how to deliver and receive attacks with dramatic spectacle. It's all about bodily timing. Strength. Endurance. It's a beautiful dance with no surprises.

Ah, but a shoulder driven tackle delivered without warning at full speed by a big man barreling into another big man off guard, or off center. Delivered with intention of surprise and extreme denials ...THWUMPH!!

Throw an armful of wet laundry fresh from the washer into the back of your dryer. That, too.

I heard this sound the morning a bald eagle decided one of my male Muscovy ducks was on the menu. I heard the attack clear as a tackle replay on Sunday afternoon. A second bald eagle flew in directly after. Two ready for a meal, but not the size of the delivery. What does one do with a dead fully well fed adult male Muscovy? How does a bald eagle with twice the wing span light into the air with such a payload? He doesn't, that's what.

I watched two bald eagles struggle with 18 pounds of dead duck. The eagle that made the kill tried different grappling hook placements. By the neck proved fruitless. He may as well have been trying to pick up a cinder block. By the neck and the back proved ridiculous. Duck butt dragged along the ground five feet while that majestic eagle's wings proved useless. By the duck butt then, head and neck waggling below dragging the ground. Three feet of flight. The Wright Brothers would have been impressed.

A vulture landed at their very location, told them to hold his beer. Which started a bar fight over the morning's canard aux cerises. The larger of the eagles ignoring the fight still trying to take flight. Bar scenes are such a hot mess. The vulture gave up the argument when three of his buddies dropped in and left immediately not wanting a piece of any of that action.

The two eagles were left to dissect their canard du matin. Eighteen pounds divided could be carted off easier it seems. Or just gorge until you have pieces that take flight easier. Which, if you do the math, still adds up to the same duck. Canard à l’intérieur d’un aigle est encore canard.

But what do I know. We use UberEats.

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