No is as Good as Yes

Welcome a parrot's full range of possible responses. Judging communication based on preferred results is a faulty barometer.

No is as Good as Yes

Integration and expectation. These two words represent the largest aspect of communication with our companions. We want them to accept some thing or some body. So what comes first, the chicken or the egg? Should we bring expectations to the integration or bring the integration first and allow that moment to help define expectations? I prefer the later in our flock.

Whenever you offer new things,foods or activities, no matter the reaction of your parrot, there is no time wasted in that effort. Parrots are always aware, always watching. Seriously. Parrots offer each other items in the wild, they understand the principle and it's meaning. Expectation should really only rest in the idea that with that single integration moment you are communicating, which is great! A parrot saying no, or turning their back or lunging at an item is as positive as a parrot accepting the new thing. Because the value sits in the moment of communication itself.  You accepting a no is as powerful as your parrot saying yes. They are equal in the growth and trust building of your relationship. Don't ever see a rejected moment as a negative. It isn't. It's you and your companion literally having a conversation! We don't get offended when our friends decline a drink when visiting, right?

This also applies to new people. You can't "get" a parrot to like people. The people that are interested in forming a friendship will need to find a way to communicate with that parrot. It's really no different than a dinner party full of people. Think of it as people who come from two different countries and speak entirely different languages. There they are seated at a dinner party, they have good feelings about each other but have to find a way to express that positive interest. Again, we are right back to creating a conversation of communication with no expectations. Parrots don't hate or dislike certain people. Parrots just haven't found a comfortable way to communicate with certain people. It really does boil down to that. I feel bad for both parrot and people when someone tells me "My parrot hates me." Or sometimes they'll lament, "He hates everybody but my brother!" That is unreasonable human expectation laid on a parrot's normal behavior amongst other parrots. It's not fair to the bird, and it removes the responsibility of the relationship from the human. And it always 100% our responsibility. Always.

Unreasonable expectations remove the hardest part of real companion parrot relationships;investments of time. Parrots don't wear watches. But they remember every minute of positive interaction and calm communication and friendly integration attempts. Every single one. And they will remember the times you forced, cooerced and walked away in anger or frustration. Those times are always a result of unreasonable expectations.  

So, leave the expectations behind. And build a huge memory bank in your parrot's mind filled with positive moments. It's a good investment.

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