Diva syndrome

Butters is just a Butterbean being a big blue chicken. And that's okay by me.

Diva syndrome

 Butters grows talons of needles. Snickers doesn't. Not because he can't, but because he takes care of his grooming. Butters doesn't chew wood toys to her full potential. Snickers would like a crack at the second floor walls. Butters preens with no urgency. Snickers fusses twice a day starting at his neck and ending with the snap of his longest tail feather. One good shake and all is in place. Butters seems to watch him from the corner of her eye, with a look of disdain. As if his self care is a personal insult. It may be, he could be embarrassed by her lack of parrot principles.
 Her disinterests require talon trimming via burrito toweling, dad's gently immovable hold, and my snipping the ends, then nail filing the sharp edges. She's resigned to this position and situation. We've explained to her how if she just sat on the dildo perches none of this would have to happen. Look at Snickers! He sits on his dildo perches. And when a talon gets away from his attention, he sits on dad's knee while dad holds his foot and uses a nail file. They talk about the news and movies.
 But no, she prefers being burrito filling, honking, and fidgeting in a towel.
 We call the perches dildos. They aren't literal dildo, but rather dildo-ish. With sandpapery sides that exist exactly where large parrot talons end when a parrot perches. They exist in front of food bowls, and in favored napping spots. All Butters has to do is perch. Just perch. She pauses on them only. I see her doing it. She sees me seeing her doing it. She hisses disdain for such tricks, scrambles up on the cage door and eats what she paused to grab.
 We can lock her in her cage for a day, giving her less choices for disdainful expressions. She'll choose to hang on the front of the cage, scramble to the left, scramble to the right, then back to the center. An arch traveled while whining, moaning, and clicking.
 Lock Snickers in a cage and he turns into Wood Chipper Charlie, dildo perching Master Eating Eric, bell clanging, window watching, talking to himself and laughing at his own jokes TwoHandsFull. Then he preens. The Parrot is strong with Snickers.
 Butters is more Jabba the Hutt.

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