Doomed. Forever knowing works and efforts are doomed to the same end.
Such is the life of a companion parrot lifestyle member who is the human in the room. I have this problem of my own making. Coughing like a 98 year old cigarette smoker. But I don't smoke. I do share my world with 8 parrots, a dog, a guinea pig and one rabbit. So ya, same thing really.
We who indulge in the companion animal lifestyle walk the razor's edge of air quality, time, and house cleaning. We buy gadgets and things to clean. We buy air filters and install HVAC systems with air filtration systems. We clean (never enough). We dust (endless and futile). We vacuum and sweep and wipe surfaces as if we're actually getting paid to do it. We are doomed. Doomed to laugh at ourselves while attempting to clean horizontal blinds collecting dander and dust like a hoarder collects National Geographic magazines and pens. Doomed to wipe walls and baseboards of unidentifiable leftover attempts at feeding a parrot fresh fruits in season.
Doomed to know going to bed, the alarm clock you never bought was never really needed anyway. Best to put that money into more Swiffer dusting clothes. Doomed to either hide in a closet to eat in peace, or share these morsels that were never really for you. Closets are for storing the parrot food anyway.
Doomed to find a parrot on your shoulder at any given moment without warning only to experience the odd sensation of a parrot tongue measuring the depth of your ear canal. Maybe not doomed, I kinda like that in a weird sort of parrot fetish way.
Doomed to modify habits to accommodate hormones and weather patterns, only to learn that really all they wanted was the warm tea you were drinking. Silly human in the room making things far more complicated than a cup of tea.
There's a moment every single parrot person wakes up at the junction in the road of companion parrot life that will make or break the choice of this lifestyle. This is the new normal chosen. It's quite easily compared to dating someone and taking it to the next step. Engagement and marriage. This is it. This is how it is and this is your new promise, until death do you part.
Companion parrots and animals do far more than just "accept" us. Parrots literally install us into their own truths. We literally define their lifestyle and their happiness. A companion parrot will depend on us for our emotional support in the relationship.
I use the word doom because as humans we have a hard time letting go of ourselves and putting another in front of all that expectation. So often pets become a thing we put right behind ourselves. But that can change according to the human's day and mood.
I only bring this up today because I looked into all the sets of eyes in feather and fur and realized today's frustration wasn't with them, it was with me. I use the past tense of is because I've straightened out my own human red wagon. With the help of Butters and Angus. Butters flew to my shoulder and promptly knocked my arm off the keyboard. It is 11:45 am. I'm late. For her.
Angus rolled over on his back under my desk and is reaching out with a promisingly huge paw to gently tap me over and over on the shin. It is 11.46 am. I'm late. For him.
Felix looks over his shoulder with the Eye of Disdain. It's irrelevant what time it is, I'm eternally confused.
I am so very fallible. And they are so perfectly sincere.