Having children and parrots

The lessons a companion can bring to a child are limitless.

Having children and parrots

People take parrots for different reasons. Very often they take them because of an emotional need to have something special at home. People like pretty-looking birds who can talk and do funny things to impress their owners. When a parrot comes to his home, the owner and parrot grow together through socialization. They learn from each other through every life phase spent together. Parrots will remember all life phases which they have during their life. And that is a big learning lesson parrots' further behavior. People also learn from parrots very much. I have seen many examples, also in my home.

No matter in how good a condition a family is living, problems can occur. When problems happen it is usually reflectied in parrots' well-being. While solving the problems, people do not have time for their parrots companions as they formerly had. People try to escape from problems and they concentrate all their energy to working on the problem. They lose energy to take care of the parrot in the way they usually did and they lose their motivation because of disturbing heavy feelings inside. People will start to see that because problems which are occurring in their family, their parrot's behaviour is also changed. In some cases parrots go more aggressive. Some parrots will start to pluck or become less active and sad in their cage. The more sad part is that usually responsible owners feel real guilt because of a bad situation and they start to think about a new home for their parrot. They are not able to deal with the situation inside and they think that a new home for their parrot will improve their parrot's well-being as they can not offer such care as they did. They think that a new home will be the best solution for their parrot. Owners sell away their family member - parrot companion to new owner in good faith because they want to believe that this will be the best solution for their parrot. It is a frequent example which happens in most cases.

During my practice I have discovered that later the owners really regret their choice to sell their parrot to a new home. When they realise that, it is too late to change and take the parrot back – this feeling is more worse and empty as that first feeling because they decided to sell their companion parrot. Feelings of regret and understanding that there is no way to change situation and turn back time is very painful and the feeling of guilt is bigger because of the betrayal of their parrot companion. During contacts of different parrot owners I have come to the conclusion that problems are always temporary! The problems should not be the reason to sell their parrot to another home because it will not improve our feeling of guilt. People must learn to come out from problems with their parrots together! Our parrots feel even better with us during all problems than being abandoned. It is a real art to make sense from this sentence and learn from common mistakes done by parrot owners.

Of course there are also exceptions and in some cases parrots really need a new home if they have irresponsible owners who do not care and conditions for bird keeping are really bad. But in most cases people who sell their parrot companion do it because they can not cope with guilty feelings when they find that are spending too litte time with their companion parrot because some kind of problems which suddenly happened. We have very different problems and tough situations but we must remember that all bad problems are always temporary. Sometimes to cope with problems takes more time, sometimes problems pass more easy but they are always temporary, not forever. These decisions which we do in problematic situation can be thoughtless and wrong because we do not have any guarantee that the second home will be the last and happiest home for our parrot. We just think that it should be that way. In truth, there are many situations that the second home was much more worse than the previous. As people make their decisions, they do not do enough research about the new home and new owner. They just trust the words that the buyer says. People can find good new home and great new owner but there is still a big possibility of failure. Every one who finds a new home for their parrot must think before about how the new owner will behave in case he will have a problematic period in future? Does he want to sell that parrot too? Does he do research about next new home properly? Is this case normal when problems occurs people start to sell their parrots? What we exactly do with this to our parrot's soul?

Remember, parrots will allways remember all life phases which they have during their life. By this chain of questions we can come along to our problems and understand that in truth, we only want to dispose of the obligations which we have in regard to the care of our parrot. That is because, for us, it is troublesome when we have problems. If we think very deeply then this is very selfish to sell a parrot companion because problems occurred. There is no need to sell our parrot companion; there is a very big need for help to cope emotionally with the problems inside the person. People must not abandon their parrots. They must have more boldness to ask for help outside to improve the situation emotionally to keep the companion parrot relationship even in a hard life period. It is a hard part and weak people go the easy way and abandon their companion parrot and later they regret it a lot. There are many times I've heard of situations that in the second home parrot had worse conditions and was again abandoned or even died.

Very often people sell their parrot to new home because a baby is coming. This part for me is the most worse situation. The birth of a child is not a problem in the family but the problem will be very soon a parrot because baby parents will start to think that way. It is mostly because of misunderstandings and wrong advice. Very often also doctors' advice is to dispose of parrots. I hear often also this advice from grandparents as well who say many times that family must sell the parrot to a new home as they advise to not spend too much time on the bird and they must concentrate only on the baby and the baby´s health as they believe parrots can cause health issues like allergy, neurotic issues because of the parrot screaming and even they think that parrot can bite so hard and cause serious damage to the baby´s health.

In truth, it all can happen very seldom and in very extreme situations. These are not facts about parrots but only accidents which can happen no matter in what different situations. Also an allergy is mostly because of some other reason, not a parrot. There are many facts that an allergy occurred and people sold the parrot away, and later the symptoms stayed and people understood that the parrot was not the allergy cause. They did more health tests and found out different answers for the health issues that caused an allergy. I see how easy people take advice to sell parrot to new home as they believe it will be better for their child.  People who have a baby, especially if it's their first, are very sensitive to the pressure of close people and they are very affected by the opinions of close people. It is because it's a stressful period, and fatiguing to work with a baby who takes the most time from a day. Young parents usually sleep less and are very emotionally tired because life is changing a lot when a baby comes.

In fact that is not a true belief that a parrot can be dangerous in a home for a baby and should be resold. These people in this period have no right support on how to cope with a parrot and little baby together in a suitable way for both parrot and baby. If people resell the parrot they take away from their child life a very important opportunity to grow with the bird together and have a great time to spend with a feathered friend. There are numerous reasons why growing with the parrot is valuable to children. It is not just growing together. Parrots can teach a lot to the children as well. They are very smart creations of wild nature and they teach to little children by growing together empathy, patience, understanding difference, weakness meaning, consideration and trust meaning through consistent work to gain a trust. These skills can also be learned by grown up people who own a parrot.

My children grow in a totally different environment from other children. They learn all their experience about parrots by my side. They do not realise that they live different and they thinks that living with parrots is normal and parrots belong in their life. They were both born in a family where there were already parrots. It is a very special life part for the children and I see how my parrots teach my children the skills mentioned above. I see how my children have learned how to care about parrots and how to understand about parrots. As parrots do not always allows little children to touch them, my children had to learn that trust is coming by consistent work to gain the trust of the parrot. My children have learned that with patience they can gain the trust of the parrot and the result of consistent work is, the parrot will allow them to scratch his head. Patience is a very important skill in further life. Children who live with parrots understand much more the difference between living creations and their feelings. They see that there are many different types of animals and birds who do not have common manners as domesticated pets have. They learn also weakness meaning and understand how weak birds can be by health and how much proper care they need and knowledge to cope with them. Children learn to be careful and observant with parrots. That teaches a lot of consideration and empathy – of course, only if parents support these skills developing through parrots. We have had also hard times as usually people have. We were always very close together with all family members and we learned how to cope with problems the best way we can to not affect our parrots' well-being. Now I am sure I will bequeath all knowledge about parrots which I know to my children because my children are growing together with parrots.

There are many reasons for the wish to resell a companion parrot. Mostly we do not understand any reason how people can abandon their parrot. Most common reasons are losing a job, bankruptcy, moving to another appartment, divorce, bringing a new pet home, baby birth, not enough time because of work or other obligations, serious health issue, even some worse things. Situations are very different and also every personality, their relationship with their companion parrot and understanding them and for how long they have lived together. Even after a long relationship with a companion parrot, by some kind of reason people say suddenly that they need to find a new home for their beloved parrot. I think in these situations we need to have as good advice as possible. Advice from a person who can give right advice from both sides what should be the best way to do. We never know how our lives can change and which problems can appear and how sensitive we can become because of problems and how helpless situations will bring for us. There are really many ways how to cope with problems together with your beloved parrot without abandonment. Only then if owners really wish to have help and accept advice on how to cope with problems first inside themselves so  they can avoid breaking up the relationship with their parrot companion. Most problems are possible to resolve and we must always remember that problems are temporary but if we lose our best friend, our companion parrot in this time, we may never get him back. Right advice in right place in right time and right support can avoid many broken parrots' lives.

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