Cleaning Up after Parrots

Of course I just vacuumed! You can see the floor.

Cleaning Up after Parrots

I vacuum every day.  I just vacuumed today. Every day I do not expect my house to look like I just vacuumed.  I just vacuumed, just now.  Butters is sitting on her cage door cracking a walnut, just now while I'm putting the vacuum away.

I suppose I could clamp down around here and force issues in favor of saving that just vacuumed look.  I could trim feathers, lock cages, feed cleaner type foods.  Those are options I suppose. It takes a special kind of thinking to hand two macaws their own clump of fresh on the twig brussel sprouts and walk away. I just didn't want to disturb them.  They were happy on the back of the couch.  So there they are on Felix's blanket on the back of the couch eating brussel sprouts.  Felix will be thrilled to find his blanket covered in brussel sprout shreds. Or not.  He is currently sitting in his cage, door open, with his back to the whole scene of brussel sprout carnage. Veggie violence is so low brow.

Yes, I suppose I could curtail the sideshow that is macaws and their eating habits outside of their cage.  But I don't turn on the TV during the day.  This is my entertainment.  Some don't know this fact, but a Macaw is a bit like a hamster.  They can store extra bits in their mouth.  They stick that one extra pellet or fruit piece or whatnot under their tongue.  You think they are done eating when they drop that last bit of whatever on the floor next to the dustpan.  And then just like a magician's big reveal, and just after you swept that shrapnel up, there they are chewing on the hidden piece that was under their tongue.  That's when I tuck the broom in my elbow and applaud.  Butters has showmanship.

Kirby our IRN has his own sideshow magic act.  It's called mom is not paying attention.  What happens there is I'm not there paying attention and Kirby gets into the clean, drying dishes on the bamboo dish rack.  His Mission Possible is to throw every item out of the dish rack he is able to toss.  Kirby is very good at utitlizing leverage.  The sound of silverware has a distinct ring to it when it hits a tile floor from 4 feet up.  I am now paying attention by running in to see what his next item of choice will fly.  But where is the Kirby?  His magician skills reveal him sitting in the Kirby chandelier nonchalant and ever so surprised to see me.

I suppose I could put dishes away more diligently.  I have done that, which leads to the bamboo dish rack becoming a bamboo Kirby Jungle Gym. Which on the up side is too heavy to toss off the counter. On the down side Kirby seems inspired to poop alot on a jungle gym.  I pick my battles by setting the battlefield.

Some would say cleaning a house full of fully flighted parrots is akin to brushing your teeth while eating peanut butter.  I would argue that point, but I already look silly with cockatiel poop in my hair and shredded phonebook pages stuck to my slippers.

Speaking of slippers, it's always best to have footwear on around here. Broken walnut shells hurt when you step on them.  That's a pearl of parrot wisdom for you.

And so on this Monday I face the week anew with shopvac, broom, dustpan, mop and mop bucket at the ready.  I stand strong in the face of adversity and silliness.  We didn't bring parrots into our lives to dress up the place.  We brought parrots into our lives to share our place.

Which reminds me, I need to wipe up all the peanut butter Snickers wiped all over my chairs.  Chairs are napkins to parrots, and obviously peanut butter is toothpaste to me. 

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